The Love Story Of Héloïse And Abélard, The French Romeo And Juliet

Last updated on May 13th, 2024 at 06:11 pm

Heloise and Abelard, the famous fated 12th-century French lovers

Possibly more famous in France than Romeo and Juliet, the love story of Héloïse and Abélard is, without a doubt, a tragic one.

With a twenty-year age gap, a forbidden student/teacher relationship and a love that lasted for eternity, it has all the makings of a great movie. And, of course, that’s exactly what happened. 

Stealing Heaven, a film based on the lives of our 12th-century lovers, was released in 1988 and written by Marion Meade, an American historical novelist. 

But what about the real Héloïse and Abélard? What happened to them? Why was their love so tragic, and what is it about them that still gets people talking today? Let’s dive in and find out.

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The Love Story of Héloïse And Abélard

It was on a recent trip to Paris that I first discovered the Parisian love story of Heloise and Abelard. I stumbled across their grave at Pere Lachaise cemetery and was curious as to why it was so big and ornate.

I mean, there are a lot of big graves in that cemetery, some of them like mini houses, but there was something about this one which drew me in.

After spending a few hours doing some research, and going down a rabbit hole of love letters and forbidden love, I realised I’d found the French answer to Romeo and Juliet but from the Middle Ages.

Being a romantic gal at the core the story pulled at my heartstrings, and with some great history thrown in for good measure, I couldn’t resist telling my own version of these fated lovers. And once you’ve heard their story, I’ve no doubt you’ll want to see the grave too and pay your respects to Abélard and the love of his life, Héloïse.

Who were Héloïse And Abélard

Our two lovers, Abelard and Heloise, were born almost 1000 years ago when things were very different to what they are now.

Héloïse d’Argenteuil 

She was born between 1100-1101, although the exact date isn’t known and was the ward of Canon Fulbert of Notre Dame, who plays a pivotal role in this story.

It’s thought that her mother might have been Lady of Montsoreau, the founder of Fontevraud Abbey, where one of my favourite women in history, Eleanor of Aquitaine, died and was buried.

She was an incredibly bright girl raised by nuns till reaching her teenage years when she was sent to Paris to join her uncle Canon Fulbert. Her knowledge of languages was well-known by then, and she spoke Latin, Greek and Hebrew, amongst others.

But she was also a poet and playwright with a gift for writing, and by the time she met Abelard at around the age of 15-17, she had a reputation for being a great scholar in her own right.

Pierre Abélard

Born around 1079, Abelard was at least 20 years older than Heloise. He was a French philosopher and an academic. He was born near Nantes into a minor noble family and became master of the cathedral school of Notre Dame in around 1115.

He is believed to be one of the greatest thinkers of the age and rose to prominence in an era that thirsted for knowledge and intellectual debate. 

He studied under Roscelin of Compiegne and William of Champeaux, absorbing and then challenging their teachings. His innovative approach to dialectics (the art of debate and logic) and his questioning of established doctrines set him apart. 

He was particularly adept at using logic to explore and explain theological concepts, which was groundbreaking at the time.

But he was also condemned as a heretic by  Pope Innocent II for his outspoken beliefs.

By the time the two met, they were known in their own right. She was one of the most learned women in Paris, and he a celebrated intellectual.

But their first meeting wasn’t a private one, as there were crowds surrounding him, a throng of students eager to learn from him. His lectures, which delved into theology, logic, and metaphysics, were revolutionary, drawing people from all over Europe.

What happened when Heloise and Abelard fell in love?

Now, as well as being highly intelligent, Heloise was also a beauty, and Abelard was intrigued and wanted a chance to get to know her.

So, he persuaded her uncle to let him meet and subsequently teach her. One thing led to another, and despite the age gap, the two intellectuals fell in love and embarked on a secret affair.

In order to spend more time together, Abelard suggested to Fulbert that he move in with them both using the pretext that his own house was hindering his teachings.

Unfortunately, their affair was discovered, and Fulbert separated them to put an end to it all. But it didn’t work because their affair continued, and before long, Heloise fell pregnant.

To protect her, Abelard sent Heloise to his family in Brittany to have their baby, Astrolabe. And to appease Fulbert, Abelard suggested he marry Heloise. 

However, she didn’t go along with it because she knew his career would be over if it became common knowledge that he was married. 

It couldn’t become publicly known that he had enjoyed the pleasures of the flesh with a woman, something that was not allowed for an ecclesiastical scholar.

So they married in secret, leaving their son with Abelard’s sister. Heloise went to visit the nuns at the convent in Argenteuil, where she’d grown up. And this is where things went horribly wrong.

On hearing that Heloise was at Argenteuil, her uncle believed she’d been cast aside by Abelard and forced into a nunnery to become a nun. So he hatched a plot of his own. He ordered some of his henchmen to break into the house where Abelard was staying and castrate him as punishment for his sins.

Although Fulbert was punished for the attack, it was too late for Abelard. He could no longer have a career as a priest or anything else due to the loss of his manhood. So he retired as the canon of Notre Dame and instead, became a monk at St. Denis. 

Heloise, who had few other options at the time, was persuaded by Abelard to take her vows and become a nun. It wasn’t something she wanted to do, and she protested strongly through many letters she wrote to him.

Some of these letters are now famous and are known as the four “Personal Letters” and the three “Letters of Direction.” 

Why was their love forbidden?

Abelard and Héloïse’s story unfolds against the backdrop of a time when the church wielded immense power over people’s lives, and societal expectations strictly governed personal relationships. For the 12th century, these two broke pretty much every rule there was to break.

• Clerical Celibacy: Abelard, as a cleric and scholar, was expected to live a life of celibacy. The church imposed strict rules on clerics to maintain their focus on spiritual duties and to avoid the complications and distractions of familial obligations. Abelard’s involvement with Héloïse was in direct violation of these expectations, risking his reputation and position within the ecclesiastical hierarchy.
• Student-Teacher Relationship: The relationship began with Abelard as Héloïse’s tutor, putting them in positions of authority and dependency, respectively. This dynamic was deemed inappropriate, violating the trust and respect required in an educational context. Their secret affair would have been considered an abuse of power and position by contemporary standards.
• Family Honour: Héloïse was under the care of her uncle, Canon Fulbert, who had entrusted Abelard with her education. The secret nature of their affair and the subsequent pregnancy were seen as a direct affront to Fulbert’s honour. In the tightly-knit societal structures of the time, family honour was paramount, and any actions that compromised it were met with severe consequences.
• Secret Marriage: When Abelard and Héloïse secretly married, it was partly an attempt to appease Fulbert. However, Héloïse was initially reluctant, fearing it would hinder Abelard’s career. Their marriage, kept secret to protect Abelard’s position, eventually became public, leading to further scandal and Fulbert’s wrath. The secrecy and unconventional nature of their relationship only added to its forbidden status.
• Social and Intellectual Elite: Both Abelard and Héloïse were prominent figures in the intellectual elite of Paris. Abelard’s role as a leading philosopher and theologian meant that his personal life was subject to scrutiny by both the church and society. Their relationship was not just a personal affair but one that had implications for their public and professional lives.

Where were Abélard and Héloïse buried?

After their deaths, their remains took a long journey before they were finally reunited at Père Lachaise Cemetery in Paris in the 20th arrondissement. It’s said, that the addition of their grave was a big drawcard for the cemetery and even now, it’s one of the most visited graves.

After Abelard died in 1142, he was buried at the Priory of St. Marcel, where he died but later moved to the Oratory of the Paraclete, an abbey he had founded which later, under Héloïse’s leadership, became a well-known intellectual and religious centre.

Héloïse passed away in 1164, more than two decades after Abelard. She was buried next to him at the Oratory of the Paraclete, according to her wishes and the legacy of their shared history and intellectual partnership.

Both remains were moved several times but preserved, even through the tumultuous times of the French Revolution.

It was actually Josephine Bonaparte who, after reading about their story, had their bodies placed together in a tomb at Pere Lachaise cemetery.

FAQS: Abelard And Heloise, A Medieval Love Story

Final thoughts: The Greatest Love Story of All Time, Heloise and Abelard

So now you know the tragic love story of Héloïse And Abélard, France’s answer to Romeo and Juliet.

If you go to the Latin Quarter, not far from Shakespeare and Company, you’ll find the house where Heloise lived with her uncle and later Abelard. 

That whole area has so much history surrounding it, and Abbey Bookshop, a Canadian-owned place with lots of English language titles, sits on an old 12th-century street originally home to the scribes of Paris.

And just up the road from there is St Etienne du Mont, the famous church featured in the Woody Allen movie, ‘Midnight in Paris’.

But if you love the thought of being surrounded by history, albeit in a slightly different way, try visiting the Paris Catacombs. The bodies of over 6 million lie beneath the streets of Paris, and it’s quite a place to see.