9 Ways the French Can Tell You’re An American and What To Do Instead So You Don’t Look Like a Tourist

One of the things I love about going to a different country is the cultural differences. We’re all unique, and it’s something to be embraced and enjoyed. It’s a good thing because if we were all the same, the world would be a very boring place.

Having said that, sometimes it’s nice to feel like you blend in and look the part. I still get a little frisson of pleasure when a French person stops me to ask me a question. That’s quickly followed by sheer panic as I try to understand and answer them as proficiently as possible. 

However, having lived here for ten years, I now know what makes me appear like a tourist and how to blend in so that I seem like I’ve lived here all my life. There’s an art to it, and you don’t need to be fluent in French to give off the French vibe.

9 Ways the French Can Tell You’re An American

I know only too well the dread of walking into a shop and being completely and utterly tongue-tied because you can’t think of what to say in French. Trust me, I’ve been there many times. But a few simple phrases can go a long way, and if you make the effort, they’ll usually help when you get stuck.

Having said that, there are a few big no-nos and things to avoid if you don’t want to stand out like a sore thumb.

No. 1 Apologizing For How Badly You Speak French

I’m so guilty of doing this, although not so much now. I used to start every sentence with an apology that went something like this, “Désolé, mon français n’est pas bon.” So before whoever I was speaking to had said a word, I’d apologized for how bad my French was. 

Don’t do it. It’s not necessary. Most of the time, the French are happy that you’re giving it a go. Not to mention, it’s the quickest way to announce to everyone that you’re a tourist. 

The best compliment you can get is when you go to the boulangerie and they don’t answer you in English. Granted, sometimes that’s because they can’t, but I know the people in my local pharmacy, bank, and boulangerie can all speak English. But they now speak to me in French instead of automatically reverting to English.

No. 2 Ordering Your Steak Well Done

The French love their food, and they want you to love it too. They don’t believe in nuking their steak, so it’s more charcoal than meat. In some restaurants, they flatly refuse to do it well done. This has happened to my husband. When we first moved to France, we had very little French or understanding of the French culture.

Anyway, we went for lunch at a restaurant in a local town, La Rochefoucauld, to a steak restaurant we’d heard good things about. When the waiter came to take our order, my husband asked for his steak well done, and the waiter simply looked at him and said, “Non, le chef ne fait pas de steak bien cuit.”

Hubby has now learned to have his steak À Point, medium rare, but it took some getting used to. Below is what you need to know when ordering your steak in a French restaurant:

• Medium – Entre à Point et Bien Cuit.
• Medium to well done – Bien Cuit
• Medium Rare  – À Point
• Rare – Saignant
• Very rare – Bleu

No. 3 Asking for Ice in Your Wine

The quickest way to offend a Sommelier is to ask for ice in your wine. My husband’s cousin came over a couple of years ago and made this mistake. I was cringing because I knew what was going to happen. We were in one of our local villages, Verteuil, and had popped into the Caviste for a quick drink before going for lunch.

It was a hot day, and we went inside to order our drinks. As we ordered our glasses of rosé, she committed the cardinal sin and asked for ice in her glass. Sebastien looked absolutely horrified and promptly said, “Madame, in France we don’t serve ice with wine”. 

That was it, no debate, just a simple no. Which lends itself nicely to my next point.

No. 4 Thinking the Customer is Always Right

As you can see from the story above, the customer is not always right in France. The French have their own way of doing things, and instead of bending over backwards to please you, they stick to their guns, which I kind of like. They will not bend to the will of others.

If you don’t like it, don’t come. It’s that simple. They don’t subscribe to the American way of doing things, where the customer always gets what they want. Oh no. That’s not how it works here. You might be the one paying the bill, but that doesn’t mean you’ll get what you want. It’s a French thing.

No. 5 Ordering a Crand Café and Expecting a Starbucks Size Cup

Coffee in France is nothing like the coffee in America. It’s so much better. Unless you’re going to Starbucks, and these are few and far between even in the bigger cities, you’re going to get a much smaller coffee. They don’t come in massive cups.

Coffee in France is typically served in small espresso cups, black, without sugar. If you want milk, you have to ask for it. Even a big coffee in France is a lot smaller than your average cup of coffee back home. 

Having a coffee in France isn’t about running, ordering, waiting for a paper cup with your name written on it, and then hurrying on with your day. It’s about taking time out to enjoy the coffee and your surroundings. An entirely different experience.

No. 6 Expecting Giant-Sized Portions at a Restaurant

The same goes for restaurants. Portion size in France is a darn site smaller than in America. As a Brit, I always remember my first visit to the States, as I couldn’t quite get over the size of everything, including the food. Everything was massive, from the steaks to the size of the plates.

That’s not how it works here in France. One of the reasons the French have more courses is that each course is considerably smaller in size. You aren’t full to the point of bursting. So if you’re expecting a plate piled high, you’ll be disappointed.

No. 7 Wearing Board Shorts in a Public Pool

Swimwear attire is very different in France and is taken seriously. Under no circumstances are you allowed to wear board shorts or loose-fitting shorts in a public pool. It’s all about hygiene. 

Some men’s swim shorts are made for everyday wear rather than the pool. They pick up dust and sunscreen through the day, which ends up in the water. The looser the shorts, the more water they hold when you climb out, which is why you often see little puddles around the sun loungers.

Closer-fitting swimwear avoids most of that. It releases water more quickly and dries faster, which helps keep things cleaner. The fabric is typically designed to withstand regular dips without the buildup that occurs with heavier materials.

So, what can you wear? Good question. What you’re looking for are the conventional style of Speedos that serious swimmers wear, which my husband likes to call budgie smugglers. 

No. 8 Speaking in Loud Decibels for the Whole World to Hear

This one definitely applies to me. I have a loud voice that carries; my husband is always telling me to keep my voice down. The French aren’t usually a rowdy lot, unless they’re demonstrating, of course. Conversations are conducted in lower tones.

Whatever you do, don’t start to hold a loud conversation on the train or the metro for everyone to hear, and certainly no FaceTime. You’ll likely receive a lot of angry looks and probably be asked to stop. And to be quite frank, I don’t think anyone wants to hear your private conversations in a place where everyone else is quiet, French, or any nationality. 

No. 9 Forgetting to Say Bonjour and Au Revoir

The French are very polite, and there is a rhythm to daily life here; saying hello and goodbye is a big part of that. If you walk into a shop and don’t say “Bonjour,” it’s considered rude. It’s the same when you leave. A quick “au revoir” and “bonne journée” go a long way.